How Cognitive Dissonance Affects Your Ability to Progress

Cognitive dissonance is basically an inconsistency of your thoughts and your actions. It can create psychological and also physical discomfort. For example, a smoker knows that smoking is unhealthy but the smoker keeps smoking because it makes them calm. These conflicting thoughts or when your actions don’t match with your belief, values, and principles is called cognitive dissonance. 

Cognitive dissonance can also cause feelings of unease and tension, and people attempt to relieve this discomfort in different ways. Examples include “explaining things away” or rejecting new information that conflicts with their existing beliefs.

Although cognitive dissonance may seem like a negative effect, it can also help people change and grow in positive ways by examining and aligning their actions and beliefs (achieving cognitive consistency). People have different tolerance for uncertainty and inconsistency and may experience cognitive dissonance to a different degree.

Humans generally have a desire to avoid the discomfort and unease of cognitive dissonance, which can have a significant effect on a person. Especially on behavior, decisions, beliefs, attitudes and mental health. If you experience cognitive dissonance you may feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, anxious, sad or stressed. This can lead to behaviours like: rationalizing actions and choices, trying to hide beliefs or actions from others, avoiding debates about certain topics. And can ultimately lead one to avoid learning new information that goes against one’s existing beliefs (ignoring research or even professional advice) or only seek information that confirms existing beliefs (confirmation bias).

Cognitive dissonance also regularly affects our relationships. When a partner acts contrary to shared beliefs, values, and attitudes we perceive dissonance which can lead to various problems.


How to overcome the cognitive dissonance:

☐ Change your actions

  • Identify your values

  • Admit your failings

  • Ask others for support

  • Take step by step action

☐ Change your beliefs

  • Accept that sometimes you will be wrong

  • Identify the conflict

  • Assess why the behaviour you can’t change is important to you

  • Be open to both sides of the conflict

  • Write down reasons why the behaviour you want to stop is acceptable

☐ Accepting a decision

  • Do a pro and con’s list

  • Focus on the pro’s

  • Exaggerate the cons for the alternative you did not choose

  • Talk to someone about the option you choose

  • Avoid questioning the decision once it is made

Cognitive dissonance affects everyone and it can influence how you feel about yourself and view yourself, leading to low self-esteem and self-worth. Reconciling the differences between conflicting beliefs, or between actions and beliefs will make you feel more true to yourself and is ultimately a form of personal growth. It can help with positive changes in your life, such as addressing unhealthy eating habits, addiction, or anger issues.

If however you really feel like you are struggling, you can reach out and speak with a qualified psychotherapist. Online consultations are as effective as in person.

You can contact me for more information: admin@alfordjeremy.com


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Emotional Dumping vs. Emotional Venting