Grief Awareness Week

There is a moment in our life where we have a lot of affection or a very strong bond to someone or something important and dear to us and then we lose them. It is not always about death of loved ones or pets, it might also be about the things that you treasure ruined or lost, moving out of the places that you have attachment to, losing a job or career, and ending or drifting a relationship, etc. As a response to these feelings of loss of the moments and absence, we grieve. But we need to understand although it’s universal, we all grieve differently. 

Every person can grieve differently when we feel loss. It is because each relationship we have towards those people or things is unique. This creates different responses and feelings. 

Stages of grief

Not all people will go through exactly the same stages of grief. Some might skip stages and some might have only a few stages and be stuck for a very long time in one phase.

Here are the stages of grief:  

☐ Shock and Denial. This is a very normal reaction that we have when we face loss. 

☐ Anger. You may then start to feel anger. It can be towards the situations, people around, and even yourself. 

☐ Bargaining. In this state you will dwell on your guilt and start blaming yourself. You will start to wonder about ‘if only I…’, ‘I wish I...’, ‘what if I…’, etc.  

☐ Depression. This is the point where the grief can affect your life. You might start to have problems with maintaining your daily life like having issues with eating, sleeping and socializing. 

☐ Acceptance. This doesn’t mean that you forget about your grief. It is more about realizing that it is there but you decide to go on with your life. 

How to cope with grief?

Grieving leaves wounds and scars in our life. So it is normal and acceptable if you get caught up in the past sometimes. The most important step is coping with your grief. Remember that coping is not forgetting nor is it a bad thing. Coping is being able to function in daily life despites the grief. It is part of the grieving process that is normal and healthy. 

Here are some tips for coping with your grief:  

☐ Acknowledge your grief and understand the process of grieving.  

☐ Find support or be supportive to someone else. Tell yourself or the person who grieves that “It is ok to not be strong, to cry, to scream, to feel weak, or to take your time alone”. If you are supporting a person who grieves, remember to just show up because your presence matters, be a good listener, and do not try to fix the person.  

☐ Try to maintain your relationship between your mind and your body. Taking a shower, eating, and getting enough sleep are small steps that you can take. You could also start to exercise and meditate. Try to remember that physical health is important for your mental health.  

☐ Go to therapy.  

If however you really feel like you are struggling, you can reach out and speak with a qualified psychotherapist. Online consultations are as effective as in person.

You can contact me for more information: admin@alfordjeremy.com