Loneliness!

“Loneliness is a state of mind and it is very subjective and also part of our biology.”

Loneliness is different from being alone. We could be part of a group gathering, a party, or surrounded by our family and friends, but still be feeling lonely, rejected, and isolated. While solitude is a state where we voluntarily choose to be alone just to relax and enjoy our time in order for us to feel fulfilled and still have a balanced social life.

So what is ‘loneliness’? Loneliness is a state of mind and it is very subjective and also part of our biology. It causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted or isolated. No matter who we are and what our personalities are, we can still be affected by it. The “function” of loneliness is to make us pay attention to our social need of being together with others, which stems from times where being alone meant almost certain death, while being in a group of people meant survival. This is why rejection hurts and loneliness is painful and why getting along with others is crucial.

Although times are much easier now for individuals, and it’s easy to stay connected with others electronically, most of us still feel lonely. Our body still craves for close relationships that online social networks cannot replace.

What are the effects of loneliness?

Large scale studies show that the stress that comes from chronic loneliness is one of the most unhealthy things we experienced as humans. It has a host of negative effects on your physical and mental health. Some of them are:

☐ Makes you age quicker

☐ Makes Alzheimer’s progress faster, higher risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke

☐ Can cause depression and suicide

☐ Increases stress levels

☐ Causes poor decision-making and decreases memory & learning

☐ Can cause antisocial behaviour

People who report they aren’t lonely often, are more likely to have higher income, better education, and are more likely to be married (Source)

How to combat loneliness?

Research suggests that the quality of relationships and social interactions are more important than the quantity when it comes to warding off loneliness. Having a few close friends that you meet physically at least once in a while, can reduce the negative health effects of loneliness.

Here are some tips to cope with loneliness:

☐ Recognize your loneliness and the effects of it in your life.

This can be the first step for you to open yourself more to be better and make you have a willingness to change.

☐ Talk to someone you trust.

It can be with your spouse, best friend, or even a therapist. It will help you to feel connected.

☐ Focus on strengthening your current relationships and developing the quality of them.

Building current relationships might be easier than having new ones. You can slowly progress the quality of your relationships.

☐ Consider joining a group, doing community service or other activities that you enjoy or like.

This big step can lead you to open up to new people that have similar interests to you.

If, however, you really feel like you are struggling, you can reach out and speak with a qualified psychotherapist. Online consultations are as effective as in person.

You can contact me for more information: admin@alfordjeremy.com